Becoming a Mother again
This past month, on October 10th at 10:10pm, I delivered our second son, London Hunter Box.
When I had Sydney almost three years ago, my life changed in a way that I never thought was imaginable. I continued with a lot of my work but we moved from Hollywood to the San Gabriel Valley. My husband got a steady full-time job, which we didn’t have before Sydney. Life became somewhat more structured and I started to educate myself about parenting instead of studying my craft as an actor. Our bookshelves filled up with books about raising children and books for children. I became a Mother.
With the arrival of London, I thought things would remain the same as with Sydney but things have already changed in the past three weeks, not just at home but also physically as well as psychologically:
These past few weeks, I think I have done more laundry than I have done the past year. London spits up a lot, not just on his own clothes but also on mine and on my husband’s. We are changing clothes sometimes three times a day!
With a newborn and an almost-three-year-old, I have to coordinate nap times and sleep times, snack times and dinner times. This can be a challenge on days when we have a full schedule in the morning and in the afternoon.
Eating for me has never been more random as it is now. I have to feed Sydney at the same time that London wants to nurse. I end up running around fixing breakfast and lunch for Sydney while I’m holding and nursing London, changing his diapers, and getting Sydney cleaned and dressed for his nursery school.
My husband and I talk about our future in a different way. Our plans for the far future and our immediate goals are more focused. Our time together has become more precious now than ever before.
The first time in my life I look at my body after a few weeks of giving birth and I like what I see. I’m no longer the self-criticising model/actress. I have curves now. I am now a woman, no longer a girl. I am now a mother of two healthy and beautiful boys.
I’m now asking myself a lot of questions that were easy to answer just a few months ago: What do I want for the future? Who am I? Am I an actress? Do I still consider myself a model? Do I want to continue my work as a webmaster?
The only thing that really matters now though is that my boys are healthy and happy. It might sound cliché but it’s true. I certainly miss being on stage or being in front of the camera. I miss working at SAG, with actors, and with creatives to tell a story (and I’m not done telling my stories yet.) But at this time in my life, I’m ready to give up everything, so I can give my kids a life that they will look back to with fondness and great memories. I want to give them everything that is in my power, to help them develop into healthy adults, mentally as well as physically. I’m reading more books about Child Development, Peaceful Parenting, Positive Parenting, and Playful Parenting. I’m taking Positive Parenting classes. I’m seeking advice from family and friends who nurture their kids in a way that helps them develop into creative, positive, confident, kind and gentle, nature-loving adults.
I’m not a perfect parent. I lose my patience, at times I say and do the wrong things, I skip routines and I sometimes don’t know how to back down, even though I know I’m wrong. But I’m surrounding myself with people who treat others kindly, respectfully, and with love, so I can always have good role models around me whom I can learn from.
I’m aware that these first few months and years will go by way too fast. So I’m trying to slow down every day, to soak in the moments with London and Sydney. Sydney loves his brother, he hugs and kisses him every day. Sydney talks to London, caresses him, watches him and holds his hands. They are going to be great brothers, I can feel it and I can see it already.
And as I’m aware of how precious time is, I will leave you with this little wisdom:
The Magic Bank Account
Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use. However, this prize has rules:
The set of rules
1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account
3. You may only spend it.
4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, “Game Over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one. What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL …
Shocked ??? YES!
Each of us is already a winner of this *PRIZE*. We just can’t seem to see it.
The PRIZE is *TIME*
1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.
2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
3. What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.
4. Yesterday is forever gone.
5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING…
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars. Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day. Start “spending”….
I’m still writing my “Plan B articles“, so if you have a second career, please email me and I will feature you in one of my upcoming articles. Please put in the subject line: “Actor/Actress with a Plan B”. Tell me your name, what you do, how long you have been doing it, and please include a photo of you (at your Plan B job) and a link to your acting and Plan B website.
Enci is a Mother, Actress, Artist and Activist.
Contact Enci with article suggestions or find her on Twitter, Facebook and other networking sites to connect. When contacting her, please introduce yourself and tell her you read her column in the Networker.